30 Lessons I learned in 30 years

I learned so much in my twenties!! I turned the big 33 on April 9th. But, ever since I turned 30, I have been thinking of ways to make the best of my upcoming years. My 30s WILL continue to be years of growth and an amazing glow-up. However, my twenties were for falling on my ass and figuring out how to pick myself back up, on my own.

When I was in high school and on the way to college, I had my life planned down to a tee. Done with college at 21, Married by 22, First Child by 23. God looked at me and continually laughed the whole time.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING went the way I had it planned out. Some things for the best, others… not so much. But that’s ok. Your 20s are for you to constantly get pushed but that’s what makes you stronger to deal with the harder things in life as you get older. I want to share with you some advice on the things I learned in my twenties so you won’t miss out on the best years of your life! Here are 30 Life Lessons I’ve learned in 30 years.

1. Listen to your elders… but don’t

Parents and family members mean well when they give you advice. Most of the time, they are only trying to look out for you and protect you. But they also are not living your reality. They grew up in a different time and a lot has changed. Listen to their Point of View but ultimately do what you feel is best for you.

2. Learn to be alone

Sometimes if you want to do something you have to do it by yourself. And that’s perfectly fine. If you can’t find someone to go with you, GO BY YOURSELF. Don’t miss out on an opportunity because you are scared to go by yourself. You’ll probably find someone else who also went alone and make a few new friends. And honestly, you might have more fun…

3. Nothing will go as planned

Life WILL NOT go the way you want. There will be obstacles and bumps in the road to where you want to be. Learn how to pivot and roll with what God gives you. You are going through these experiences for a reason.

4. Make stupid mistakes but don’t be stupid

Your 20s are for making mistakes but realize you are not untouchable… Don’t do anything that will land you in jail or bite you in the ass 20 years down the road.

5. Go to a community college

It will be a lot easier and cheaper to take your core classes at a community college.

6. You will (most likely) not get the job you want right out of college

Most jobs want an experience that you won’t have straight out of college. Not saying it can’t happen but be prepared to have to work your way up.

7. You don’t have to go to college

College is not for everyone. Don’t feel like you have and waste thousands when you know it’s not something you want to do. There are other options.

8. Enjoy your College Years

Sleep, School, or Be Social. You only have time for 2. Choose Wisely…

9. A small group of friends is better than a big one

Quality over Quantity. Enough said.

10. You will change/ People Will Change

Also as you grow older, you may start to realize the people you hang with are going in a different direction or want different things in life. That’s ok too. People grow apart. It’s ok to let go and allow both of you to be happy in your individual lanes.

11. People will show you who they are

In the great words of Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, Believe Them”. If you are a nice person, people will try to take advantage of that. Trust your intuition and pay attention to how people act. Don’t allow them to play in your face.

12. Good Friends will always be there

As you and your friends grow older, life will start to get in the way. You will get jobs and start families and you all won’t be able to hang out as much as you used to. But, your real friends will understand and still be there even though your priorities have changed.

13. You don’t have to impress anybody

As hard as it is to believe, nobody cares. Don’t go into debt for a lifetime trying to impress someone for a couple of minutes.

14. Men (boys) will come and go

Don’t lose yourself in a relationship and don’t neglect your friends and family because you are in a relationship. Continue to do the things you love because relationships don’t always last.

15. Work on your dreams

If you want to do something, your 20s is the best time to work on it. You have little responsibility and people are already expecting you to do crazy things and make wild decisions. Why not do something crazy like following your dreams?

16. Learn from your failures

You are not going to succeed in everything you do, especially on the first try. And that’s ok. Use those failures as lessons and try again.

17. Travel More

There is a whole world out there to see. You haven’t started a career yet and most don’t have kids or family responsibilities, so your 20s are the best time to do most of your traveling, and like I said before, if you can’t find anyone to go, go solo. That way you can go where you want, when you want, and do what you want. Create lasting memories and fill up your passport with stamps and stories to tell your future kids.

18. Don’t rush to find a significant other

I spent all my years in high school looking for a husband and would not date them if I could not see them being a future husband. WRONG! Dating is important to figure out what you like/don’t like. I love being married, but sometimes I wish I had appreciated the times when I was single a little more.

19. You will never be ready for a child

Babies are a blessing but it is a big change in your life. Whether it’s planned or not, whether you have read all the books and gone to all the classes, or you think you are financially stable. You will never be completely ready for a child. We are all just winging it. Just do what’s best for you and your child.

20. Know what your Credit Score is a keep it high.

Those credit cards in College will come back and bite you in the ass. Every credit card company will offer you every card card under the sun with some kind of incentive. Get a Debit Card instead so you don’t mess up your Credit. But if you do get a credit card please use it wisely and put down the Jordans….

21. Live on your own

Everyone should experience living on their own. There is nothing like having your own space and making your own decisions. Alexa play Ari Lennox – New Apartment…

22. Don’t Let Social Media Fool You

Social Media is more toxic now than ever. People will put the best version of themselves on Social Media when in reality they are no different than you. Don’t let posts and opinions of others on Social Media feel like you are less pretty or behind in life. Everything will happen for you when it is YOUR time.

23. Learn to say NO

Please learn to say no. At this point, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. If you don’t want to do it, say no. Now sometimes you have to do things that you don’t want to do. But if it’s going to drain your energy or give you anxiety, apologize and respectfully decline.

24. Stop Thinking so much

Some of the things you are worrying about aren’t that deep. Stop worrying about what people think of you. Stop worrying about your progress in life. Stop worrying about being perfect. Everything will be fine.

25. Be Confident

Embrace being young and healthy. I wish I had realized how fine I was in my 20s! Wear all the cute clothes and be unapologetic about it. Because as you get older and that metabolism starts slowing down and you start having kids, your body starts to change. You can still be sexy in your 30s, it’ll just be a little bit harder.

26. Live in the moment

Life already moves fast. Don’t rush it more than you need to. Life is a journey and you have to live in the moment. Enjoy being in college, Enjoy living in that tiny apartment, Enjoy not having much responsibility. Before you know it, you will be a full adult with a whole family to take care of.

27. Learn to be ok by yourself

Don’t fake it ’til you make it. That is exhausting… It takes a lot less effort to impress someone who likes you for you.

28. Go outside your comfort zone

Embrace new things! Try new hobbies, new food, and new experiences. You might find new things about yourself that will make your life exponentially better.

29. You are never too old to do what you love.

Never give up on yourself or your dreams. Viola Davis and Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get their first big roles until they were over 40. Morgan Freeman was 50… Do you boo.

30. Do what the f*ck you want to do while you can

Last but certainly not least, DO WHAT THE F*UCK WANT. Your 20s are for finding yourself, making mistakes but most of all making memories. The number one thing I wish I had done in my 20s is… WHAT THE F*** I WANTED TO. Like I said before, I wish I would have appreciated being young and free and not having much responsibility. I also worried about what everyone else thought so I didn’t step outside my box very often. But when I did, that’s when I learned the most about myself and made the best memories. Me and my girls were out and about every weekend taking trips, having fun (and causing havoc).

If you are in your 20s and don’t have anything else tying you down to one place, go out and enjoy yourself. Take that trip. Go for that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Move across the country to follow your dreams. Do all the crazy, off-the-wall things you want to do because you are old enough to make your own decisions.

What are some life lessons that you are learning/Or learned in your 20s that you wish you could have told your younger self? I would have told myself to slow down and enjoy the journey. I feel like I missed out on so much because I felt like I needed to be married with kids by 25. But life is what YOU make it. Nobody else should have a say in how you enjoy life. Let me know in the comments what you would have told your younger self. Looking for more content to help you live your best life? Check out my other posts.